36. Don’t Listen To Cosmo All the Time.
Seriously. Unless you want to freak him out, or help sabotage your own relationship by making yourself paranoid with “Is He Cheating?!” tips, don’t take their tips to heart. Just because he’s scrawny doesn’t mean his sex drive is low, Popsicles and string cheese will not make you skinny, and rubbing the panties you just took out of the freezer on his penis isn’t as sexy as they make it out to be.
And for Godssake, ASK before you touch his gouch [see: ABC; the ass-ball connection]. He probably doesn’t want it, let alone like it as much as they say he does [In every. Single. Issue.]
And do you REALLY want to rub it with your knuckle? Ya, I didn’t think so.
Posted July 1, 2009 at 7:10pm
