March 2011
5 posts
You guys I am SO sorry
I just noticed, I had a few of these, and that last one I had opened before…. It wasn’t until the first one I posted did it dawn on me why all these girls are asking me for advice! I ended up changing my email and tumblr forever ago, and never had any followers here, so I didn’t think anyone would write questions
I promise I’ll keep answering now :x I also have my ask box...
well I feel so rediculous writing to you, but...
Wow you sent this a long time ago, I’m sorry :/ I changed my email and lalala ok so….
First off, you have to get past your shyness, and get talking to him.
Second, I would say to not waste your time. I had a similar situation, I liked a guy for an uber long time (like, 5 or 6 years! haha), told him I liked him, and he said basically, well thats super but i dont like you like that,...
How can I get him to hold my hand at school, he's...
First off, I’d say to talk to him and tell him you’d like it if you could hold hands, doesn’t have to be the entire time, but now and then would really make you feel good :)
When you’re walking the halls, just kind of lightly “bump” hands together, like run yours by his, kind of give him the idea that you want to hold hands. If you’re too shy for that,...
Dear Ms. Liz, I am stuck, not physically but...
I think you have, for the most part, already done what I would suggest you do. You need to find someone new, someone fun, someone who deserves you. You need to realize that you need to be needed, and you can’t pine and try and wait for a person who isn’t going to be there. If you tend to see him a lot, or even hang out with him, I would say to distance yourself. Try to just be away...
all of a sudden i started getting questions...this...
July 2009
5 posts
Need Advice?
Ask me anything, and I’ll help you out. I’m always here for you.
What’s wrong?
38. Looking Back.
Sometimes you need to remember why you fell in love in the first place. Read your old journal, and not just to yourself, but to your boyfriend. Or look at pictures from when you first met or got together. Talk about what you used to do. Do things you did when you first started dating, like walking them to their car and kissing them through the window before they drive away. Go to the first place...
37. Letters Speak Volumes.
So it’s a little middle school. But its fun to give and receive handwritten love notes every now and then [texts and Myspace just doesn’t cut it sometimes.]
So put down in words all the cute things you can think of that are straight from the heart, and stick it in their pocket.
Plus, who doesn’t love to have a confession of love in writing?
36. Don't Listen To Cosmo All the Time.
Seriously. Unless you want to freak him out, or help sabotage your own relationship by making yourself paranoid with “Is He Cheating?!” tips, don’t take their tips to heart. Just because he’s scrawny doesn’t mean his sex drive is low, Popsicles and string cheese will not make you skinny, and rubbing the panties you just took out of the freezer on his penis isn’t...
35. Surprise!
No matter what she says, she loves surprises. Just don’t tell her there’s one coming or it ruins half the fun. It doesn’t matter how big or small the surprise, just do it. Trust me on this one. Follow this advice and you probably wont need any foreplay help tonight.
June 2009
35 posts
34. Date Each Other...Again.
After awhile date night isn’t on the top of the to-do list. You’ve already courted each other, and movie-going is getting mundane. So, you sit at home. Every night. And. Do. Nothing. You need to learn to date each other again. Set a special night for every week that you go out and have fun together. Then see #33 to see where that could help you in more ways than one!
33. Go Play As Foreplay.
I’ve recently learned that you need more than the usual “slap and tickle” to get things going. Things get routine and boring, and soon it feels like you’re just going through the motions. So, take the fun someplace else [No, I don’t mean a truck stop bathroom].
Play a game of Wii bowling, or try your hand at the real thing [I promise, its much much more fun!]. Take a...
32. She Looks Kinda Cold...
Since the beginning of recorded history, men have been letting women use their coats. In the 20’s, they’d throw it over puddles so the woman wouldn’t ruin her shoes. In the 50’s they’d give them their letterman jacket after the big game. And in the 80’s they’d throw their studded leather jacket off the stage to a lucky lady. It’s cliche, but its...
31. Build a Bridge...Then Burn It.
Everyone gets mad now and then. There’s no way on God’s green Earth that you’re going to avoid it. And that’s cool. But don’t hold a grudge. It’s alright to never forget what happened, but always try and find a way to forgive it. And never, ever, bring it up in another fight down the road. It’s not fair. Or right. It’s old news.
Deal with it and...
30. No Trust; No Love.
One of the biggest and most important parts of a healthy relationship is trust. Sure you need humor, and affection, honesty, and all of that jazz, but what you really need is trust. How can you truly love someone if you don’t fully trust them? You can’t give them your heart and just pray they wont break it. You need to believe and trust that they wont. It may take time to earn your...
29. But They're the Jealous One.
If they’re the jealous one, ask them why. Help them understand you’re with them for a reason, and there’s no need to worry. Offer to hang out all together so they can get to know the person they’re jealous of. This will almost always help, even if it’s just a little. If their jealousy is out of control, that’s a real big red flag that you need to scoot on outta...
28. Jelousy's the Enemy.
It’s one of the main causes of fights and breakups. Remember, they’re with you. If they wanted to be with someone else, they wouldn’t waste their time. They’re going to have friends of the opposite sex [or same sex if that’s how you roll]. Telling them they can’t be friends with someone they knew long before you came around just because you get a little jealous,...
27. Home Cooked.
Nothing says “I love you” more than a home cooked meal. Food is one of the most universal ways to show someone how much you care. So every now and then opt to make dinner for a night. Nothing prepackaged, and nothing with “just add water” written on the box.
If it doesn’t turn out so great, order take out.
If you receive the not so good food, and don’t get the...
26. Take a Joke. Then Sorta Take It Back.
It’s always fun to make fun of each other. Bust balls and joke around. It’s all in good fun. But constantly jokingly telling them they’re stupid or gay [or straight. I don’t know your life], or anything like that, is going to start to sting. Always remind each other you’re just kidding.
Then tell them to stop being such a sensitive little queer.
25. Speak Up.
Men are the worst with this one. But everyone’s gotta learn to open up. If something is really bothering you about the other person, tell them! Locking it up woll only lead to resentment. And soon you’ll explode and get into a bigger fight than you would have if you’d said something sooner. Plus, it’s not fair to bring something from months ago into a fight when the other...
24. It's O.K. To Fall Out of Love.
Things change. People change.
When you’re still young, or you’ve been together for a coon’s age [see: a really damn long time], things sometimes happen. And that’s not your fault.
They may have loved you to no end last week, but today they let you go. And that’s not wrong. It has nothing to do with you, just them. Falling out of love isn’t an act of hate. Its...
23. Play Mommy.
When a man is sick or hurt, all manliness goes out the window, and all he wants is his mommy. So just for today to wrack up some good girlfriend brownie points [you DID just check out that hot clerk at Costcos, don’t lie.], take care of him like his mother would.
Tuck him in, give him kisses, feel his forehead, and make him soup. Baby him a little bit and make him feel warm and comfy and...
22. Don't Lie.
At least not all the time. You should always tell his mother that her cooking is the best, and you can’t wait for more of her famous meatloaf with the surprise center. And you should most definitely tell him he’s the biggest you’ve ever seen, whether you mean it or not. But don’t lie about things like orgasms, or you’ll never get a real one because he thinks what...
21. Go On A Man Diet.
How do you expect to be in a healthy, functioning, and flourishing relationship when you go from guy, to guy, to guy, without more than a few weeks in between? Give yourself time to heal and assess what’s going on, and time to really learn to love and take good care of yourself. Then after a month or even longer, go ahead and put yourself back on the market.
20. You Can't Be Perfect.
And neither can your partner. Not all the time. You’ll mess up. You’ll say something wrong. You’ll forget things. And that’s O.K. Fess up. Accept the mistakes and move on. The world wont stop spinning just because you forgot to get the eggs, or because you accidently let out an “ooohh mama” when you saw David Beckham’s new manpanty ad [though if...
19. Shhhhh...
Silence is A-O.K. It doesn’t mean anyone’s mad. It doesn’t mean you’ve run out of things to talk about. It just means you’re happy and confident in your relationship.
Embrace the quiet. Just enjoy the other person’s company. If you’re both silent and happy, that is a good sign.
So sit back and enjoy it, it wont last for long!
18. Don't Think. Just Love.
Does he say he loves you? Does he hold you, kiss you, look at you, treat you like he loves you? Can everyone around you two tell he loves you? Then he probably loves you. So quit questioning it. Stop thinking “OMG! He’s going to leave me!” If there’s no real reason to believe he’d leave, he’s not gonna. It’s all in your head. So you fought. Big deal. If he...
17. Appreciate.
Just that simple. Show him and tell him you appreciate him. Even if it’s a wake-up text, or he grabs you a drink without you asking, tell him how much you love it and how happy it makes you. He’ll probably do it more often, as well as other sweet things.
If you feel under appreciated, kindly let him know. I’m sure he’ll start to do things for you in return. Since men...
16. Bee Yourself.
Remember in Alaadin when he pretended to be a prince just to get the girl? And it worked for a minute, then she found out, and she got pretty pissed? Then he was poor again, and by the third movie they were married?
Here’s a life lesson: If you don’t have the big bucks, don’t act like you do. If she’s only with you for your money, get a new girl. Dates don’t have to...
15. Why So Serious?
Look, you’re in love. It should be one of the most happy and blissful moments of your life. Why do you have to act like it’s a court date? Listen, just have fun. Don’t worry about yesterday, and never worry about tomorrow.
Enjoy loving and being loved.
14. Never Settle For Less.
Have you ever bought a pair of shoes that are only sort of like the expensive ones you really want? Only to find out months later your discount kicks are falling apart and the designer ones just sold out? Ya, love’s kinda like that. Don’t just settle for anything because you think you have to. If you’re only sorta happy, find someone who makes you super happy, and down the road you wont feel so...
13. Stop Faking It.
No, that’s not what I mean [but you should stop faking that, too!]. I mean you. Don’t act like an airhead because you think it makes you cute. Quit trying to impress them by pretending to love everything they loves, especially if you hate it. Be yourself. You want them to fall in love you, not the imaginary person they’re getting to know.
And ladies, for goodness sake, take off a couple layers of...
12. Hold Out
You shouldn’t have sex on the first date. Or the second. Or the third or fourth, for that matter. Unless you’re looking for a booty-call or short-term relationship, hold off on the sexing. If you wait until you’re truly in love, then you have a good chance of lasting a long time. Plus, if they’re willing to wait that long, they’re probably worth it.
11. If You Feel Silly, You're Doing It Right.
Making your girlfriend happy probably isn’t the easiest thing in the world. But honestly, it’s simple. Think of this golden rule, and for most situations it reins true: If you feel silly, you’re doing it right. Girls like simple acts of kindness. Give her tons and tons of kisses all over her face. Hey, you may feel a little less manly, but that will make her smile. Say and do funny things for her....
10. Go Ahead and Fight.
Ok, just not all the time. But arguments are normal, and actually healthy. It’ll help you both get out what’s bothering you and work to solve it. Of course you should always try and talk things out, first, but a fight is not always avoidable. Just be sure to stay level headed and hear him out [and he should be hearing you out, too].
8. Don't Get Comfortable
Remember when you first started dating, and everythingwas so fresh and nice? You’d wear certain sexy clothes, and do your hair. You flirted endlessly, said all the right things, and spoiled each other rotten.
Well now it’s six months later, and the “Honeymoon Phase” is over. You let your guards down and loosen up. Maybe even too much. Of course you want to be comfortable around him without...
7. Don't Be Text-Clingy.
No one likes a clingy girlfriend. Just because he didn’t respond to your text in under 3 minutes, doesn’t mean he’s mad at you. Or cheating. Or ignoring you. So what is taking him just OH SO LONG? He’s probably working. Or driving. Maybe he’s in school, or in court, or talking to his mom. Maybe he’s eating. Or went to the bathroom. Maybe he went downstairs to get a burrito. Anything bad you think...
6. Back Off
He left you. And you so desperately want him back. You now have from the time of the breakup to 15 minutes after to explain this to him. After that, take a giant step back. Throw out his number, take him off your top 25, and LEAVE HIM ALONE. Constantly hounding him will only confirm his decision to leave you. Texting him everyday and commenting his new pics on Myspace [all 153 of them] after a...
5. Get Over It.
I understand that break-up suck. So, go ahead. Cry. Pout. Mope. Do what you gotta do. Then move on. Give yourself a week of grieving for any relationship under two years [then you get an extra week for every year after that], and then, SUCK IT UP. First off, he’s more than likely not coming back. Second, it’s not healthy. Get out, have fun, smile. Third, it annoys everyone around you to hear...
4. His Friends Are HIS Friends.
Sure, maybe you and your boy’s friends get along. Maybe you’ve crossed into friendship status. Just remember, they’re his friends. And he’ll come first. Always. Stop going to them to get dirt on your man. One, that’s pretty much stalking, and two, they wont tell you [Unless they’re trying to break you two up, then maybe you’ll get a few bad stories. And they’re qualified as a bad friend.] They’ve...
There's A New Advice Post Every 12 Hours
so in the meantime,
what would you like me to help you with today?
9. Don't Be a Helpy-Helperton [All the Time]
If your man is having issues, don’t attempt to give your unsolicited advice. He most likely only told you something was bothering him so he could vent, not to get your help. Getting help from a woman will just crush his poor little ego. So, unless he asks for it, just shut your mouth and nod.
Good girlfriend.
3. Quit Snooping.
You heard me. Sign off his Myspace and mind your business. Unless you have a very great and validated suspicion that something’s up, put down the laptop. You’re only going to make yourself paranoid. So you found messages between him and another person, who so happens to be female, on his personal Facebook. Well one hand, you could risk asking him about her, admitting your distrust and invasion of...
2. He's Probably Not Hiding Anything.
If your man ever forgot to mention he’s the middle child of his family, or he got arrested eight years ago during is Spring Break in college, chances are, he wasn’t hiding it. You just never bothered to ask. If his friends or family bring up details of his past that you never knew about, he probably isn’t trying to hide it. He probably just forgot. Or maybe it never occurred to him that it was...
1. Quit Trying So Hard
Have you ever endlessly searched for your favorite pair of earrings or your TV remote, only to give up? Then you forget you were even looking, and sure enough, you happen upon them. The same rule applies to love. Quit looking, or you wont find it. Sure, you might find a relationship that’s alright for a little while, but I’ll bet you money that it wont last. Forget you’re even looking for love,...